The Setup:
In this scene from The Tourist Killer, a visiting Yank has a private meeting with his boss's personal assistant at his apartment in London.
I call it a "Prelude to a Kiss."
She put her drink on the table between them with a slow deliberate motion, all the while maintaining eye contact. The steel blue eyes from the afternoon’s meeting somehow seemed a bit softer now. Griffin Challenger was about to experience a secret that every other member of the management team had previously enjoyed. A dangerous secret that they all knew could end their careers, and possibly their lives as well — if they broke silence. With a simultaneous motion, she slipped off her heels and with both hands reached up behind her head to undo the bun. Her hair fell well past her shoulders with a shake of her head.
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The beginning of a Bogie and Bacall scene. Well done and well written.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment. Too bad Bogie and Bacall aren't around for the movie version...
DeleteSteel blues line is great. And the ending had me wanting more. Great six.
ReplyDeleteYou'll get more very soon. Release is just a few weeks away.
DeleteGreat Six!! Very intriguing, leaves readers wanting to know more. =)
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteYep, I was thinking Bogie and Bacall as well! Good job, Chip!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jo!
ReplyDeleteYou had me at "steel blue eyes!" Definitely a great six sentences. The only thing I might change would be "experience a secret"--that sounds a bit awkward to me.
ReplyDeleteThanks Holly, I appreciate your comment and feedback. I labored over those three words from the beginning. "Share a secret" came to mind, but he was going to "experience" something, something beyond sharing. I'm an old Jimi Hendrix fan and maybe the name of his group influenced me! LOL
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