The eight sentences:
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| Image credit: northernbellediaries.com |
“The Council is more like a Medusa than it is a single snake. You cannot stop us by simply killing one or even two.”
“She’s taken out three that we know of, and if she gets LaFrance and Hussein, that would be five. How many heads y’all got?”
“If she takes out those two, and if Kleinstein is either dead, in hiding, or for some other reason, incommunicado, we’re screwed. The internal factions would -- if they haven’t already -- begin to act autonomously. The result would be chaos. Miss Braun may have unwittingly played into their hands and broken up the organization -- stay tuned, Mr. Hixon, but don’t expect to hear about it on the nightly news.”
“If she takes out those two, and if Kleinstein is either dead, in hiding, or for some other reason, incommunicado, we’re screwed. The internal factions would -- if they haven’t already -- begin to act autonomously. The result would be chaos. Miss Braun may have unwittingly played into their hands and broken up the organization -- stay tuned, Mr. Hixon, but don’t expect to hear about it on the nightly news.”
The setup:
First speaker is Klaus Gershenfield, a member of the internatinoal conspiratorial organization, "Friends of Global Progress."
John Hixon asks a question, and then Gershenfield's reply closes the snippett.
What next:
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Great snippet! Roped me right in, Chip. I'll look into these groups you linked here.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, my friend!
Please do, Martha.
DeleteBoth groups are open to all writers.
And, thanks for the comment.
This is terrific! You have a great gift for dialogue and dry, dark humor.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sarah. I appreciate your comment.
DeleteIt's a real challenge to give each character a unique voice.
My beta readers offer lots of suggestions to help keep them all separate.
Oooh, this snippet has me intrigued. Sounds kind of Ludlumesque.
ReplyDeleteThanks Denise.
DeleteI appreciate you putting me in the company Ludlume.
Good job, Chip. I love dialogue without taglines. It takes a bit of an effort to write it so the reader knows who's speaking, but when it works, as it does here, it's so rewarding.
ReplyDeleteRayne
Thanks, Rayne.
DeleteMy publisher says most readers ignore attribution anyway...
I find attributions get in the way of the story. They irritate me most of the time, but that's just me.
DeleteI love, love, love your photography. Very beautiful!
For some reason I always have a problem with WordPress. Posted my comment, but it's gone. And I don't mean to be "Anonymous," but that's what WordPress does.
ReplyDeleteI'll try again: I love dialogue without tag lines. It's not easy to write so the reader doesn't get confused as to who's speaking, but when it works, as it does here, it's so rewarding. Good job
Rayne
Intrigue aplenty! I love the medusa imagery...sounds like "she" is gonna make the shit hit the fan!
ReplyDeleteI'm fascinated by the whole plot now...excellent excerpt, leaves me wondering what happens next!
ReplyDeleteI think they'd better start replacing council members...
ReplyDelete