Saturday, March 30, 2013

Easter weekend sample


The Set Up

           This week, we return to my serial novel, The Presidents Club.  We join a scene from Chapter 18 back in the Louisville Tavern. The guys are discussing an absent member while Louie the bartender has just finished serving a new custome -- a stranger.

The Snippet

Tommy Pritchett was proud of his friend, Abe, “Where is he?”
Louie answered, “He called a couple of hours ago. He was going to stop by and pick up Ron after he got off work at the Holiday Inn. Ron needed a ride today.”
“Ron needs a ride every day,” muttered York.
Fishinghawk took up for Ron, “Sometimes he don’t -- sometimes he walks.”
“Ain’t he in his eighties?” asked the pastor.
“Where is he?” asked Dr. Ridge.
“Can’t you hear? They just said Abe’s bringing him,” York snapped.
“Of course, I can hear!” retorted Ridge. “I’m talking about the new guy, Gregg, or whatever he said his name is.”
They looked at the bar stool where Jerry Gregg had been -- and he was gone.

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13 comments:

  1. Animated dialogue makes the scene vivid and real. I wonder what happened to Gregg, too. ;)

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  2. You have a wonderful knack for making a conversation between a group of people come alive. Superbly done.

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  3. The elusive Jerry Gregg......Interesting snippet. You have a way with dialogue!

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  4. I love your banter. Their personalities ring through. Hmm... I wonder where Gregg is. Nicely done.

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  5. Where did Gregg go? I like the multi-dialogue exchange - you know these characters well.

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  6. Very strong dialogue. Well done!

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  7. The dialog always flows so well and it's so clear these men have known each other forever...and where did the new guy go? Intriguing. Terrific snippet!

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  8. Oh so Gregg sneaks out. Hummmm.... spying on the group maybe or up to something else? Good dialogue, very realistic. Another great snippet, Frank.

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  9. I'm still loving all the distinct voices. And I'm wondering what New Guy is up to . . . what did he hear?

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  10. The plot thickens - who's the new guy and why did he take off so quick? Intriguing snippet, Frank. :)

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  11. These guys are fun. The bickering/bantering is very well balanced. Wonder where the new guy went. Bathroom maybe?

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  12. That's quite a crowd conversing, I can see how nobody noticed the guy get up and leave.

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