The Eight Sentences:
“We got no secrets,” commented Reverend Pritchett.
Pointe continued, “The facts I’ve discovered may not be secrets in this room, but I suspect that they aren’t commonly known in your community. I’ll give you a few examples.
Three of the eight men, I’m including Louie, whose real name I know, have concealed carry permits. Five of you have had run-ins with the IRS and one is still paying them off. You all know each other’s marital and employment status. I know your military histories and which of you have been checked out by the FBI.
I also know that the most dangerous man in the room, except for myself and Louie, who has a sawed off shotgun behind the bar, is not the youngest member of your group.”
The Back Story:
Gerald Pointe is in charge of security for billionaire Julian Thibaut who is about to visit the Louisville Tavern in a few days. In the snippet above, he shares with the regulars of the tavern(aka the "Presidents Club"), a portion of what he's learned about them.
News items:
1. My first novel, The Tourist Killer, is now available on Barnes & Noble so you can read it with your NOOK.
2. Starting Saturday, May 4, The Presidents Club increases in frequency. Three chapters a week will be presented on Sat, Sun, & Wed.
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The snippet made me wonder why Pointe not only was revealing this information -- but what its significance is to the upcoming visit. Nicely done with getting the reader to ask questions and wanting to find out more to get the answers.
ReplyDeleteNice snippet.
There are no secrets anymore. Lol
ReplyDeleteI think the men in the tavern will be stunned and upset to know their secrets are known to this stranger, but they will no doubt react in a manner he doesn't expect. That's the feel I get from this terrific snippet. Nicely done.
I like Pointe. He sounds confident, and definitely knows what he's doing. How long has he spent figuring out all that about them? Five minutes? :) Definitely intriguing!
ReplyDeleteThis is going to be very interesting, especially if our guys have bones to pick with Mr. Thibaut.
ReplyDeletePointe is on point!
ReplyDeleteThis guy has security lined up and ready. Very interesting snippet.
ReplyDeleteGreat job!! I tweeted.
ReplyDeleteSounds like he's establishing himself at the top of the hierarchy. Wonder who/what he's trying to flush out. You got me thinking!
ReplyDeleteI bet they won't be pleased at how much he knows, interesting set of facts he revealed - terrific snippet!
ReplyDeleteAnother great snippet. I'll have to read your online chapters as the bits every week has me curious about the whole story behind these guys.
ReplyDeleteHistory Sleuth's Writing mysteries
Sort of disturbing how much someone can find out about people. And it's awfully close to the truth. ;-) Great snippet, Chip!
ReplyDeleteI didn't post this week. Out visiting and seeing what other participants are writing. :-)
This reads like a logic problem. And as a fan of logic problems, I mean that as a compliment. Very interesting, makes me quite curious about all of these guys.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the comments.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate each and every one.
Great snippet. He sounded very cop-like.
ReplyDeleteJust a suggestion, Frank. You might want to put quotation marks at the beginning of each new paragraph without closing them. This shows it's still dialog rather than narrative. Good snippet. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat snippet. I am very curious about these guys.
ReplyDelete