Saturday, December 1, 2012

December 2 - Six Sentence Sunday


The Setup
     A question for readers regarding this snippet from my second novel, The Presidents Club [a WIP]. There are several scenes, including this one, in which a group of friends are playing dominoes in a neighborhood bar. 

The Question 
     Is dialogue enough to sustain interest in a scene with little action other than a bunch of old men playing dominoes? Feedback, please.

This week's Six Sentences:

“Gimme a minute, asshole -- ‘Useful’ it’s your turn.”
“Why you gotta be such a foul mouth?” interrupted Reverend Pritchett.
“Your ears sensitive today, preacher?” asked Risk.
Ulysses Fishinghawk played his choice of dominoes and remained silent. Now it was the pastor’s turn. 
As he laid his domino on the table, the retired preacher smiled at York and said with a chuckle, “When you get home tonight, I hope your mother runs out from under the porch and bites you on the leg.”

Thanks for your comments! To read the work of over 100 other writers, please click HERE.


12 comments:

  1. Great line. Great piece of dialogue.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't know because I don't know enough about the book or characters as a whole to give much feedback here.

    Dialogue during a boring event can set kind of a "real life" tone that makes a scene easier to picture and seem more real in the reader's mind.

    If the dialogue is enough by itself, then you don't want too much happening at once in your book because then it could be too hard to follow to be interesting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Jacqueline.
      I appreciate your stopping by and commenting. You'll enjoy the book!

      Delete
  3. The dialogue is funny and believable, and provides an insight to the relationship between the charaters.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the comment, Greg.
      When you get more of the book, I'm confident you'll enjoy getting to know the characters even better!

      Delete
  4. I enjoyed the dialog snippet, wasn't hard to follow (i.e. not talking heads), there was some action and I found some of the comments the characters made to be quite unique. Terrific six.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Veronica! I appreciate your comments. Cover's coming soon and this novel will begin as a serial on the publisher's web site.

      Delete
  5. This conversation is great and full of characterization. And certainly dialogue can carry a scene, but there's always going to be some movement, sound, and imagery to fill in the details and immerse the reader in the situation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Monica,
      I've got to come up with lots of conversation. There are seven characters that spend a lot of time together!
      Thanks for your comment.

      Delete
  6. IMO, this bit of conversation reveals character. So, in answer to your question: yes, dialogue can be, and certainly does in your snippet. Great six.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Virgina,
      That was my goal. Stay tuned for more of the same.

      FCE

      Delete