The white scarf flashback

The Eight Sentences:

"Claudia, you've known me since you were six or seven years old, don't you remember? You would often point me out to your grandfather and say, 'Look, Grandpa Hooligan, there's Mr. Debert.'"

"You know what I called him."

"Why shouldn't I -- I was always around."

They sat together in companionable silence while she thought. Finally, she said, "I'll wear a white scarf when I want to see you."

"What about after Labor Day?" he asked sincerely.

"That's for shoes," she said with a note of sarcasm.

The Back Story:

Today's snippet comes from the flashback at the beginning of Part 2 of The Tourist Killer. Here, readers meet the mysterious "Mr. Debert" (day-bear), Claudia's confidant, one of only two people with whom she can discuss any aspects of her career. She's decided she can trust him and they make arrangements for scheduling meetings.

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Flashbacks add structure to debut novel

The Eight Sentences

"Not many shooters — regardless of sex — have the resume I’ve acquired, my vision is remarkable for any human. When I chose this career, it was obvious that I would never be in the limelight. I’ll be happy to be just as anonymous as you.” Claudia had resigned herself to anonymity even before the choice of professions. She had taken herself out of the fight for women’s rights with the selection of careers. She couldn’t attract attention to herself advocating any issue publicly and then hope to reach the upper echelons of her craft. She could, and did, find ways to make financial contributions to the cause. After her first few jobs, she had stashed away enough funds to live happily ever after — when and — if she ever retired.

The Back Story

      Readers meet professional assassin, Claudia Barry, when she's sixty-two years old and considering retirement. How do we tell her story and establish her current status without some flashbacks?

My original manuscript was cluttered and confusing due to the flashbacks.

My editor/publisher had a brilliant idea. Divide the book into sections and open each one with a flashback related to, or supporting the action in that section.

Remember the movie, Fried Green Tomatoes? It was structured similarly.

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Altered lives

The Eight Sentences:

The shooter relaxed and watched the rain collect on the windshield as the wiper blades paused for a few seconds between cycles. 

First, came images, then text. It was like e-mails appearing on the screen of her computer but now they were on the windshield right before her eyes. No time to read them as the wipers cleared them away with each wave. Always changing, more messages and no time to read nor savor them.

“Did my targets realize their own frailty, their vulnerability, their mortality? Were they able to adjust the length of time the blades of fate hesitate between each event?”

The light changed; the pace of the rain quickened and without a thought, her hand came up, her finger touched 
the lever, and the wipers went from intermittent to regular speed — with no pauses.

The Setup

    This weekend's eight sentences come from my first novel, The Tourist Killer. We have a targeted marketing program coming out in September. A blast of direct e-mails to subscribers who want info on books in this genre.

Claudia Barry is an elite professional assassin nearing retirement. 

She's a boomer. 

She's sixty-two years old. 

In this scene, while driving in Manhattan, she contemplates how her actions, as simple as the movement of one finger, can alter the lives of others.

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What do Republicans look like?

=====================================

The Eight Sentences:

Ridge continued, “Of course it’s a depression -- caused by the Republicans -- they're ruining the country. If I see one in a crosswalk, I’ll run him over.”

Franklin York, still on the lookout for opportunities to stir up trouble asked, “How do you recognize them, George? What do Republicans look like?”

Ridge sneered in silent reply. 

York asked, “What does that look mean?”

Fishinghawk, ever the linguist, answered, “He’s flipping you off with his eyes.”

Reverend Tommy Pritchett smiled and asked, “Yeah, George. Do Republicans look anything like Methodists?”

The Setup

The members of  The Presidents Club enjoy teasing each other. They can dish it out ruthlessly and they can take it, too. 

They're a nice fit for each other and constantly on guard for a slip of the tongue they can exploit. 

They often surprise me with their smart ass remarks and clever rejoinders. 

What next?

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Join us here at Weekend Writing Warriors. The same 

link will take you to the work of dozens of talented writers.

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