Saturday, August 31, 2013

Altered lives

The Eight Sentences:

The shooter relaxed and watched the rain collect on the windshield as the wiper blades paused for a few seconds between cycles. 
First, came images, then text. It was like e-mails appearing on the screen of her computer but now they were on the windshield right before her eyes. No time to read them as the wipers cleared them away with each wave. Always changing, more messages and no time to read nor savor them.

“Did my targets realize their own frailty, their vulnerability, their mortality? Were they able to adjust the length of time the blades of fate hesitate between each event?”

The light changed; the pace of the rain quickened and without a thought, her hand came up, her finger touched 
the lever, and the wipers went from intermittent to regular speed — with no pauses.

The Setup
    This weekend's eight sentences come from my first novel, The Tourist Killer. We have a targeted marketing program coming out in September. A blast of direct e-mails to subscribers who want info on books in this genre.
Claudia Barry is an elite professional assassin nearing retirement. 
She's a boomer. 
She's sixty-two years old. 
In this scene, while driving in Manhattan, she contemplates how her actions, as simple as the movement of one finger, can alter the lives of others.

What next?
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  1. Nice 8 Chip! I like the driving in the rain scene that adds to this already tense snippet.

  2. Nice 8 Chip! I like the driving in the rain scene, which adds to an already tense snippet!

  3. I could visualize the scene perfectly. I love the comparison with the windshield wipers and one's fate... Intriguing snippet!

  4. As others have mentioned, the parallel between the wipers and her as a "paid wiper" so to speak, is awesome.

  5. A philosophical hitter, and whimsical with it---or slightly deranged? Either way, an intriguing character!

  6. Nice metaphors and descriptions.

  7. I could see the scene too. You entranced me with your writing.

  8. Really good imagery in this snippet.

  9. Fascinating premise and I was just riveted by the metaphor with the rain and her thoughts about the people she's killed. Excellent excerpt!

  10. ERMAGERD, I love me some suspense. And rain. This is divine!

  11. Loved the whole windshield wiper flashback. Nice.

  12. I like how the windscreen equates a computer screen. Nicely done, Frank. :)

  13. A 62-year old hit woman! That's so flipping awesome! I really enjoyed this eight!

  14. Excellent writing Frank, very descriptive. I also love that she's in her 60s.

  15. This is a "wow" snippet, Chip. Intense. You've done an excellent job of getting the reader to contemplate right along with her! Nice 8 :-)

    1. Thanks Teresa.
      Claudia is a woman who compels others with her personality.
      Thanks for your comment!

  16. This weeks's snippet is also the last eight sentences in the book.
    I was trying to end with a strong, thought provoking scene.
    Based on all y'all's comments, sounds like I did that.
    Thanks for all the feedback.

  17. You make things so easy to visualize.