Saturday, February 9, 2013

Weekend Writing Warriors - Feb. 10, 2013


The Set Up
      Today's excerpt comes from Chapter Six of my serial novel, The Presidents Club. In Chapter Four, one of the characters, Ronald Gold, watched a documentary on public television, More Than One Vote. Although the documentary is fictitious, a dear friend of mine from New York wrote a review of it for me [link above on title]. 
      We join Mr. Gold and one of his friends as they discuss the documentary...

The Six Sentences
"It seemed like they wanted to educate kids about how the government is supposed to work as opposed to how it is working.”
“Yeah, like that’s going to change anytime soon,” Abe laughed.
“I’m telling you, man. This was impressive. I haven’t heard anything so sincere since the Temptations sang, ‘My Girl’ on Ed Sullivan,” and Gold smiled.
They could hear the dominoes being shuffled again,so Abe spun around on his bar stool to face the gamesmen and asked, “How many of y’all vote?”
His answer was four stares as blank as the domino with no spots.
After a pause, York spoke up, “You mean in elections?”

              =============
Image credit: Allmusic.com

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31 comments:

  1. Lol! How many vote? In elections? Well, if only the voting had been conducted properly . . . oh, don't get me started!
    Looking forward to Sunday's installment, Chip!
    Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the comment, Martha.
      You should LOVE this:
      http://fcetier.wordpress.com/tag/more-than-one-vote/

      Delete
  2. There's a great deal of truth to your first sentence. Well done!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for the comment, Jess.
      Large organizations often past the point of no return and get too large.
      Then they can't go back.

      Delete
  3. A sentiment shared by voters all over, it seems. Great snippet

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Sherry.
      I hope they'll share my book, too! LOL

      Delete
  4. lol a very witty and clever snippet! " You mean in elections?" hehe

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks, JoAnne.
    Elsewhere in the chapter, the bartender points out that he voted most recently for "Miss Rheingold."
    Ever heard of Rheingold beer?

    ReplyDelete
  6. A hint of cynicism over government/politics/elections?? Tight writing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Gem.
      Yes, I think cynicism about the ruling class strikes a chord with each end of the political spectrum.

      Delete
  7. This is great. Love the references, and I can totally hear this conversation taking place all over the country.

    ~Joyce Scarbrough

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping by and for commenting, Joyce.

      Delete
  8. Great excerpt - love the difference between how it's supposed to work and how it actually works - so true!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Replies
    1. Thanks Lila!
      We're showing our age.
      Yesterday, I read a survey that seemed confident that the majority of e-book readers are women over the age of 65!
      They should all know who Ed Sullivan was.

      Delete
  10. Ah yes; things never work how they're supposed to. :-) Enjoyed the Ed Sullivan reference as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Debbie.
      It applies to more than the government, doesn't it?

      Delete
  11. Felt very true to life as I was reading the excerpt, well done. Sadly too many people don't vote...in elections. Good point!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Veronica,
      According to this site: http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/data/turnout.php
      the 1968 Presidential election was the last one in which more than 60% of the "voting age population" voted.
      Since 1992, more than 70% of registered voters have voted, with 2004 topping the charts at 79%.
      2008 hasn't been determined.

      Thanks for bringing it up!
      And thanks for the comment.

      Delete
  12. Love how you compare his four stares to the domino. Funny how facial expressions can say so much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Frank.
      I enjoy using analogies and metaphors.

      Delete
  13. Love the reference to Ed Sullivan. And the last line was great!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Amy.
      When I wrote that scene, I was immersed in the characters. It was such an easy line to write, it just came out of the situation naturally.

      Delete
  14. Great snippet. I love the sense of camaraderie I feel between them. You've captured the flow of conversation very well. So, while I'll admit I'm a bit lost as to what they're discussing, I feel as I'm actually seated in the room with them. Very well done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Joanne,
      You aren't alone! Those guys are often lost themselves, especially when you consider that several of them are hard of hearing.
      Thanks for the comment.

      Delete
  15. Nice snippet. I like the dominos thing.

    ReplyDelete
  16. "You mean in elections?"

    I love this. I do. It just says it all, doesn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  17. This was lovely. I know people who would react to the question about voting the same way.

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  18. Nicely done. I loved the "domino spots", and your last line was priceless! Great 8!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Elaine, Sarah, Kate, & Teresa,
    Thank you all for stopping by and taking a moment to comment.
    I appreciate them all.
    The game of dominoes if proving to be quite popular.
    As for that last line, well, it just sort of popped out on it's own, as if the character provided it himself.
    For me, that's one of the joys of writing. You never know what a character is going to say or do.

    ReplyDelete